The Unforgettable Desire

Ray, P. (1995). Yajnaseni (15 ed.). (P. Bhattacharya, Trans.) New Delhi: Rupa Publications India Pvt . Ltd. Pratibha Ray’s Yajnaseni ― an epistolary novel, beginning at the end and ending at the beginning ― tells the tale of the most complex epic of all times by turning the victim into a survivor, by bringing the marginal woman to the centre. Draupadi is perhaps a character who has carried the weight of every single patriarchal injustice towards women. The beautiful dark-skinned princess born from a sacrificial fire with the purpose of establishing dharma on Earth had been a victim of male gaze, lust, arrogance and ego, beginning from the Kauravas to Pandavas. “Despite someone else being the root of all causes, they emptied the entire cup of blame on my head and went away – leaving me thus at death’s door. (2)” Yajnaseni , retells the Mahabharata from the perspective of Krishnaa. It is her story of womanhood, for she follows every act of Dharma - of being a wife divide...

In the last couple of years, a lot has changed within me -be it the perks of having a plenty of alone time or the downside of a mind that’s never without a thought. I am a person who jumped off a cliff at Rishikesh. Between the moment when I was off the rock-solid ground and hadn’t hit the water, I thought, “Did I jump, or was I pushed, or did both happen at the same time!” When I was out of the water all I could think was, “What’s the big deal about the experience? It was so tiny a moment to feel anything at all?” When I asked so to my already-experienced-cliff-jumping brother, he said, “That’s just how it is.” All I am saying is that I had a thought even in that tiniest of a second and I am unashamedly okay with it. It has been recently remarked by a dear friend of mine that I think so much that I do not let myself feel anything. I am working on those lines whose roots are as deep as the hive in S tranger Things , believe me . Having firmly established that, the one thing that...

The One who Swam with the Fishes , Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan, India, HarperCollins Publishers India, 2017, 1st edition, 152 pages, ₹250. Add caption Satyavati has long been seen as a fisherwoman who manipulated her way to the Kuru throne. A selfish unashamed woman who wasn’t satisfied merely by being the queen but made her to-be-born sons the heirs to the throne of Hastinapur instead of crown Prince Devavrata. Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan, in her The Girl who Swam with Fishes from the series  Girls of The Mahabharata weaves the story of how a fish-smelling girl of divine birth, raised in a fisher community, finds her way to her Destiny. It shows the story of Matsyagandhi evolving into Satyavati of The Mahabharata . The contemporary storytelling makes the book distinct from the poetic language of an epic. At the same time, the Vedic setting and time period isn't forgotten as the modern storytelling describes a span of year in terms of rain and that of a month in terms o...

One day in my M.A. classroom, a professor was teaching Emily Dickinson’s “She Sweeped with Many-Colored Brooms”, and I was scribbling a poem of my own in the last page of my notebook. I stared up, not looking at anything in particular, unaware that my gaze was in direct contact with that of the professor. He asked me, “Do you sweep at home?” “Yes”, I replied. “Girls usually sweep”, was his response. Unable to control the rising adrenaline and noradrenaline within me, I replied without being asked, “I sweep because I live alone, I cannot afford a maid (irrespective of my issues with cheap labour), and I like a clean room. I don’t think it has got anything to do with me being a girl. I am sure, any responsible human would do so.” I do not remember what happened next as my response was ignored. I went back to writing my poem. Do you realise what happened in those few minutes? My developing sense of responsibility was overshadowed by my social sex, my gender, and its role in this societ...

Pseudo feminism, and the bastardisation of feminism has bothered me a lot in the recent times. What has bothered me even more is that how it has become the source and product of people’s entertainment. A struggle turning into a laughing stock, pains me. For a long time I thought I could not be a feminist. Why? The reason is as simple as, my father was partial towards me, following the apparent idea of “fathers favour the daughters and mothers, the sons” People have told me it is true whether or not it actually functions that way. The elders in my family till today tell me that I am my Dad’s favourite, and not always in a good way. I should be proud, shouldn’t I? But what have I done to be a favourite, born as a girl? I have always been guilty of the privilege I received at home for being the girl. And that, I thought is the reason why I believed, my brother and I will never get along. I wanted us to be treated ‘equally’. Believe it or not, I did not want to be the privileged o...

(Disclaimer: The incidents, experiences, and what may seem as ‘general understanding’ of the society is purely subjective and is written by keeping in mind the immediate surroundings of the blogger. It can seem as complete crap to some readers, and that is completely fine for their journey of growing up might have been quite different or rather better from that of the blogger. Also, the other dominant gender apart from the feminine one, might feel offended at some places, which is totally fine by the blogger for she isn’t telling their tale, but her own story. Any offence felt by anyone is not the intention of the post. Sorry. But not sorry. The purpose is simply to tell a personal tale. Please leave your comments, if you may.)

Dear Misandrist Have you ever introduced yourself with a name that isn’t yours? Or have you ever felt the need to take up a name because you weren’t aware of the name given to you? Or have you ever felt like belonging to another gender when the world sees you for what your biological sex shows? Or have you ever ate daal chawal but were sure it was biryani in your mouth? Or have you constantly covered your identity with a mask? Of course, the questions are absurd. Of course, I have lost my mind. How can I be sane? ‘Feminism’ has been a terrorizing agent on the social media in the recent times. Feminism has been bastardised. Yet, I find many women introducing themselves as feminists. Just the way you did, when we first met.

When I visit my parents, I often hear the neighbours saying to my mother, ab to beti aa gayi hai, aapko help mil jaegi. Probably it is a proud moment for the entire ‘Women’ community, but personally it pisses me off. No, I do not mind helping my mother in her chores. I mind when people believe it is the duty of the daughter to do so. When asked, why not the son’s? The most common answer is, Arre wo to nalayak hai, ladke thodi samajhte hain. Personally, I believe not only this statement is offensive to men but also comments about the speaker’s failure in parenting. But then it is the socially accepted characteristics for men to be careless and women to be responsible. Yes. And if it does not offend you, then you are another deluded toy in the game of patriarchy .

What do you do, when your girl friend and you are walking down the street at 10.30PM and are approached by bikers who pretend to need directions? What do you do when an auto-wallah follows you for more than a kilometer despite your announcement of not wanting the ride? What do you do when the men suddenly speed their bike directly at you? What do you do when they shout “hey baby, chalti kya?” as they pass by? What do you do when men in their cars tend to go in the wrong direction while ogling you?

The wave of pseudo feminism has certainly sabotaged half of the relationships known to the humankind. Yes, we live in a patriarchal society. Yes, we need to make our own stands without bending to the rules of patriarchy. But when we stand staunchly in our positions letting the men in the society make their compromises and sacrifices if they want to be with us, we are then giving way to matriarchy. And it is definitely not feminism.