Leukemia... Not Just a Disease!

People who have not suffered from leukemia think it is a deadly disease, obviously they’re right and for people who come to know that they’re suffering from leukemia are most of the times devastated, provided they know what leukemia is!

And as far as my reaction is concerned…well then I was not in a state of shock because then I just knew I had some kind of a problem in my blood and I did not even know leukemia is blood cancer. It was 6 months after my treatment started that I came to know what Leukemia is…Thanks to my Grandfather! Even then I wasn’t upset much, probably just a bit, as I knew I am going to be fine.

For me, Leukemia was never just a disease, when I say never I mean it. It has given a meaning to my life. My stay in CMC, Vellore and my Leukemia has taught me a lot of things which some people fail to learn and realize in their life time. Here are six of my realizations:

•         There is no bigger exam than LIFE itself - Life is the exam where we don’t know the course, we don’t know the date sheet, we don’t know who the invigilator is and we have no choice to avoid or skip it. We have to appear it and all that we need do is be brave and say “Bring it on, I’m ready.” If you have said so then don’t worry about the result, you’ll surely pass and may be rewarded as well.

•           Humanity exists- This I realized in my last visit to CMC in January 2012. I had been waiting in the Gastro OPD for the doctor to call me when I saw a young lady affectionately helping a sick old  man (probably operated a few weeks back) to have his food as he wasn’t able to eat all by himself and no one from his family was in view. I captured that moment, not in my camera but in my memories! This made me realize that even in this selfish world humanity exists. 

•         No one can love/care for you as much as your family- Being a teenager it’s not unnatural for me to think that I’m unloved just because my parents didn’t bring me something I asked for or they don’t understand me the way they should. But obviously this was a wrong thought. There’s no one in the world who can love you as your parents/family do. I thought I was too late to realize this but it was the perfect time-teenage! 

•        Smile no matter what- Yes! Never forget to smile. The treatment of leukemia was far more painful than leukemia itself. And seeing me in pain caused pain to my family and seeing them in pain, my pain worsened. I don’t know what made me do so but whenever the pain was tolerable I would laugh and smile as if nothing has happened to me. And my family, the doctors and sisters would smile back and that only made me happier and the smiles kept me going.

“Life laughs at you when you’re unhappy

Life smiles at you when you’re happy

But, life salutes you when you make others happy”

•         A positive attitude is necessary in the worst time- Once my mom said that why did God choose her daughter to have this, to which I replied “Papa is working and he is getting the money for my treatment, you are my attendant and take care of me in hospital and Bhaiya just passed 10^th and getting sick may ruin his life where as I am not working, I am not big enough to be anyone’s attendant and I’m in just in class 9^th and studies are not so much necessary right now, So if it had to come to our family then, I was the perfect one to be have it” And my mom smiled slightly at my answer. 

•         You’re not the only one who’s suffering- When we’re in pain we think that it’s only us who’s suffering and the world is happy but when you’re in a hospital your thoughts change, mine did. When I saw a few hours/days/months old baby in the room next to me having leukemia I just did not feel any pain of treatment. I was the oldest patient in my ward and knew enough words to express my pain but what about others? I wasn’t the only one suffering; there’re people who are going through worse situations than me. 

Today I am not afraid of accepting any challenges, not afraid of helping others and showing my love and care to my family, friends or strangers. My face is never deprived of smile and my comrades are always inspired by me to see the positive aspect. And whenever I’m low I remind myself I’m not the only one who’s suffering and that keeps me going.

Leukemia . . . Surely wasn’t just a disease in my life! 

There's always A 'Ummeedon wali dhoop sunshine wali Aasha' in every situation