Showing posts from August, 2019

The Graveyard of Ambition

Nine minutes into the movie One Day (2011), the following conversation between Emma (played by Anne Hathaway) and Ian (played by Rafe Spall) takes place.
Emma: So, what’s your stroke? Ian: Sorry, my what? Emma: Waiter/actor, waiter/model, waiter/writer? Ian: Well, I am comedian.
I watched the film in 2015 when I still believed that job is meant to pay bills, there was no wanting involved. I was beginning my M.A then, I hadn’t given a thought to who I will be by the end of next two years. In a way, I had taken it for granted that I’ll be somebody after college. Job was just what follows college, just like college followed school. It was a completely normal rite of passage in embracing adulthood. Yet, this scene had made me wonder, what would my stroke be?
As and when I completed my post graduation, I was struck by a crisis that comes with freedom of choice. I was prepared for a step by step guide to death, I wasn’t prepared for making a decision. I struggled for a long time because an M.A i…

Musings of a Person Far Away from the Action in Kashmir

It was raining, so we moved from the college ground to an empty classroom. The year was 2013, it was my first year in Delhi away from the place I grew up in, Sambalpur. On that rainy afternoon, we were asked to close our eyes and describe the images that we see when certain words were said. I closed my eyes and waited for a list of words hoping it won’t be as bad as improvisation sessions during theatre practice. I was trying my best but I just couldn’t understand the things that people kept saying about character building, setting, dialogues etc. I had clearly drawn lines between reality and imagination simply because imagination and I were sworn enemies. So, I held on to reality in the most stubborn way possible. I know what’s real, I don't know what's beyond. Words like imaginative or creative weren’t something I could use even while writing a facebook bio.
A few people in the group were playing guitar and singing along. How much I loved the songs that our seniors composed w…