The Unforgettable Desire

"She had been having the pain in her right hand wrist which initially lasted for 1/5th of a second and as the months passed by the pain as well as the time of its existence increased. After 2 months of her initial pain in the wrist, it shifted to her elbow making it's way to the shoulder. She complained only about her right hand. She said that at times she feels something is flowing inside her hand when it aches. With the DAV Board exam of class VIII nearing, her Dad said that she's just making excuses to not study; Mom said that may be her brother had hit her someday which is now causing the pain, so her brother made sure he is not around when it pains. Her appetite was lost and her mother thought that not eating would cause gastritis. She had 2 injections on the 1st day of the year 2008 which made her think that she will be injected the whole year (She was right) She was put on pain killers but they did not help. She had to write her English Board exam with ...

In last few days, more than once, I had the thought of writing a few posts in my blog but the words remained confined to the walls of my skull. At times they struggled hard but in the end they gave up.  I have appeared 2 interviews in last 3 days and the experience of both have been completely different. The first one seemed so sudden that even after stepping out of the faculty room I was unaware of what happened. I thought and thought till my eyes closed for the night and my only comment about the interview was 'No Comments.' I thought I was confident yet I stammered while answering. The room was the same as they show in movies, the one with a long table having the faculty members at one side and the interviewee at the other and then I realized that I wasn't ready for this. Just because it was my 1st interview and no one said that the first timers are supposed to be good, so I'm not much upset about it. And if i was even a little upset then that was overshadowed ...

Na jagoo mai jab ye barish ho Ye boondein jo yaad teri dilayein Na saath raha iss barsaat ka kabhi Kai sapne to humne yun hi sajaye Kuch to log kahenge unka kaam hai kehna Kya beeti uss roz hum pe ye muskil hai batana Na samjha koi na hi hum unhe batla paye Dil ke tukde hue bhi to bina shor ke; Fir kya koi jaan paaye..! Ab lagta hai gar hoti koi awaaz to dard na hota itna Zubaan khamosh na hoti ashkein na kahaniyaan sunati Dil se roz nikalti hai ik dua, par, Jaane kyun labo par aane se ghabraaye wo In boondo ki tarha naino se beh jaaye wo Lafz ki talaash mein wo tadapte rahe; Par na koi awaaz naa hi koi shor Barsaat ne rulaya hume kai baar na jaane kyun aaj aaye na wo jazbaat Bakhuda aaj fir aayi hai teri yaad Aankho mein aansu na sahi Par labo pe ek halki si hasi to aayi Yun lage ke beet gaya Jamana koi Fir bhi taaza hai yaadein us pal ki aur teri Jisne diya mujhe ek taufa anmol  Nafrat ke baad ab aaya hai pyaar Mujhe i...

I have always given a thought to ‘When things go wrong, they go wrong in a hurry’ but never to the one where wrong is replaced by right. June 11, 2012- The day was similar to any other day during my stay in Delhi apart from the fact that I had to end my 1month vacation that day. The morning was the same; it started with my mom shouting at me to wake up early as we had to leave by afternoon. Early as in 9.30 AM; I usually get out of my bed after 11AM. I had been looking forward to the day when I would head back home as I had been missing it badly since the day I left and the decision to leave behind my personal diary turned out to be a blunder. But when the day finally arrived it seemed just so weird to leave Delhi behind. Human tendency, I guess. With bags packed, lunch ingested, my parents and I made our way to the Indra Gandhi International Airport, Terminal 3 at 2.35 PM to catch our first Air India flight (No. AI 473) scheduled at 5.05 PM to reach Bhubaneswar. I think...

Aimless. Confused. Crazy. Unfair-screwed up Life. First Love-The Best Relationship. Break up-The saddest story on Earth. Depression. Loneliness -The Best Friend. My story is different-The best dialogue. In the end -I'm who I'm. Even for the shortest moment, did the thought ever cross your mind that one of the above things made you different from the people you see everyday? I guess most of people would say yes, if they answer honestly. Most of us have been through at least a few of the above situations at some point of our life. And many lucky people go through all the above situation more than once during their teenage. Honestly, I myself have been through all of them in last couple of years and I'm still facing some of them right now but the question is do they make me unique among the others around me? During my entry into teenage, I always wished to be a normal or should I say a typical teenage girl and now I wonder what was the definition of a 'Typical Te...

Jo sagar mein lehre hi na uthe to Jo taare timtimaaye hi na to Jo chand bhi akela sa pad gaya ho to... Koi yahan kare bhi to kya..? Jo barsaat chubhan si lagne lage to Jo chandni hi fiki pad jaye to Jo qayanaat hi ruth si gayi ho to... Koi yahan kare bhi to kya..? Jo sapno se hi darr lagne lage to Jo haqiqat hi jhuti si lagne lage to Jo zindagi kahin chut si gayi ho to... Koi yahan kare bhi to kya..? Jo wo saaya aasra hi na ban paye to Jo wo pyaar hi apna na lage to Jo wo ikraar-e-ishq hi na ho to... Koi yahan kare bhi to kya..? Jo dil bewafa lagne lage to Jo armaan saare tutne lage to Jo haathon se haath chutne lage ho to... Koi yahan kare bhi to kya..? Jo jeene ki hi tammanna na rahi to Jo dard-e-tanhai bhi manjur na ho to Jo maut bhi gawara na ho to... Koi yahan kare bhi to kya...?

This morning I recieved a call from one of cousin sisters, Anusha, who has been actually the only cousin of mine with whom I'm constantly in touch. This closeness is probably the result of our stay together during my Leukemia days and she turned two while in Vellore. Please don't think of her as a little girl. She may be biologically turning six in July but for me I think she would be turning 16. Yes. But again don't get me wrong she has innocence filled in her like any other child of her age. It's something with the way she talks which makes me think she is older than her age and if I'm not wrong every kid tries his best to not to sound like a kid. I used to do it as well. I was half asleep at around 10A.M-11A.M. when Anusha called and asked me to check my mail and in my sleepy voice I said I will and forgot to ask what it was about. After waking up completely I thought it must have been another sweet poem that she wrote and wanted to share with me. But the t...

In last one year more than once I have come across the realization that no matter how much I hold back from the world, I would somehow form some kind of a relationship with people out there which I wouldn’t want to let go off. I have also realized that those people whom I want to stay by my side forever would eventually leave me and that heartbreaks are just a chapter in my life.  We meet some people, share a good time and then part away from them having nothing much to remember  but then there are some who leave their footprints in our lives. Many a times we fail to receive the lessons some people teach us before leaving because we are just too much occupied by the grief of their absence. I see some of my friends falling in love every now and then and I have also seen them falling just too hard for someone who leaves them unexpectedly when things are just great in their relationship. I have not known their story but I have always liked to believe that it happened for t...

Someday I had dreamt of dancing With you, in a cold night when it’s raining To me, as it always seemed very romantic And the thought of the moment everlasting But fate seemed to have some other plans Separating us by distance Which gave me intolerable pain and tore me apart And made my dream vanish at a glance Now that it’s raining, I’m reminded of my distant dream Which  does not seem in any way romantic It reminds me of you and the lovely time we had In the world of love and its charm Today, I hate this rain As it brings back the realization that things could have been better If I had a little more patience and strength Then we still would have been together. A glimpse of Can I Have This Dance from HSM3 PS- this poem is 6 months old and I never thought I would actually post it but finally I did :P

Probably most of my classmates would be thinking that I just got too inspired by Zitkala-sa’s story with the above title but I’m not. I actually had planned to write this a few months ago but never have my plans worked!  So you must be wondering what made me write this today, isn’t it? I was surfing TV channels a few days back when I came across a serial named ‘Ek hazaaron Mein Meri Behna hai’ where a girl named Maanvi finds her hair falling in clumps which I assume was because of the chemotherapy for her cancer and her thoughts made me write how it felt when such a thing actually happened to me. Before chemotherapy started If my brother isn’t wrong then I was diagnosed with Leukemia/blood cancer on 29 th May 2008- 8 days after I got admitted in the Q5North ward of ISSCE building at CMC, Vellore. Immediately I was put on chemotherapy. With the pain in my hands I was unable to comb my hair and it was my mom who would braid my hair every day. She started noticing the i...

I wonder how it used to be                 When you and I were we We walked we played we talked we shared                 And about the world we never cared We loved the moonlit road we took                   Hands in hands in whatever we went through Whenever you held me in your arms                 I just knew there’s no place so warm We fought we cried we teased each other                 But in the end we were always together And then you had to leave- the time was hard                 Our roads became completely apart Once upo...

People who have not suffered from leukemia think it is a deadly disease, obviously they’re right and for people who come to know that they’re suffering from leukemia are most of the times devastated, provided they know what leukemia is! And as far as my reaction is concerned…well then I was not in a state of shock because then I just knew I had some kind of a problem in my blood and I did not even know leukemia is blood cancer. It was 6 months after my treatment started that I came to know what Leukemia is…Thanks to my Grandfather! Even then I wasn’t upset much, probably just a bit, as I knew I am going to be fine. For me, Leukemia was never just a disease, when I say never I mean it. It has given a meaning to my life. My stay in CMC, Vellore and my Leukemia has taught me a lot of things which some people fail to learn and realize in their life time. Here are six of my realizations:          There is no bigger exam than LIFE itself - Life is t...

Sitting near the window in my room I hear the raindrops falling on the glass pane But I'm unable to gather the strength to look As this untimely rain reminds me of my Lost Friend Tonight the rain is not as strong or wind as harsh as the night when he went to the heaven to be with the great souls and God himself Leaving all of us numb and helpless He is remembered by someone or the other everyday his presence is felt in our lives in spite of the void he created If saying R.I.P means saying good bye to his presence then probably even after almost an year, that I would not say!

I am on the terrace all alone The breeze is cool and soothing just like I love To the tunes of moving leaves and chirrups of birds I'm dancing And singing these lines as I'm writing I hate getting wet in the rain yet I'm loving it today The sun is setting and the view is just great I'm smiling as if I haven't ever enjoyed nature to this extent I don't know what cam be better than this moment This probably does not have a rhyming scheme But I would still call it my Poem.

How does an 11 year girl feel when the annual exam is finally over? All her efforts of the whole year to secure at least 95% for getting a laptop from her Dad is now finally on a bunch of papers but she gets the laptop or not is a mystery till the results are out. Now is the time of celebration; with the exams over and results not yet out and her 12 th birthday just a few days away.  As per the plan, Ashika and her family were on their way to the railway station to catch the evening Intercity express which would take them to Bhubaneswar, Ashika’s maternal grandparents‘home. As soon as she stepped in the parking area of the railway station she heard a familiar voice calling her name. As she turned around, she saw Sandhya; her last year’s benchmate cum a very good friend, waving at her. Ashika ran to her and found out that she along with her family was going to Bhubaneswar by the same train and she was happy that she would have a friend in this journey and she would not b...

What was the first thought that struck your mind when you read the heading of this article? Did you think that this crazy girl is again with some story of her Vellore stay or some side effects story of her medicines? If you thought so then I’m really sorry to say that this has got no link with all those Vellore stuffs of mine. Really, it is about something that would not have come to your mind at all. So don't worry nothing emotional about me.  Cedric Diggory seemed handsome enough for an 11 year old girl to have a crush on him; it’s a different thing that she barely knew what a ‘CRUSH’ is then. And obviously for such a handsome guy’s death she had to be sad. Oh yeah! This girl who was sad at Cedric’s death was me of course but I can bet that there were a million girls like me. I remember saying my brother,” Why Cedric? Voldu is bad.” But then I could not do anything, could I? So I accepted, Cedric is not going to come back. And I mean it, I was as sad as if I were Cho....