About a month ago I was lying on
the bed in the emergency room of the Institute of Liver and Biliary Sciences, Vasant Kunj, Delhi because I happened to be suffering from pancreatitis for the 10th/11th
time. As usual my parents panicked, especially my father. He couldn’t stop but
think ‘Why again?’ My mom though alarmed was calm. She always has been the
emotionally stronger person than my father when it comes to my health. My
brother saw me in this pancreatic pain for the second time with the memory of the first one
fading, or maybe not. He asked me if I was sad about having the attack again.
My instant reply was-
“Why
should I be sad? What’s there to be sad about? I have already suffered around
9/10 times and the pain decreases with each attack. It’s not a big deal anymore.
As long as I have the pain, I can’t talk or do anything else. But when it
subsides I am happier than I normally am. I am so used to it that if I don’t have
it in three to six months, it seems unusual. It has become a part of my
survival. If I crib asking why why and why again, would it mean that I won’t
suffer anymore? No, so you see that while being happy can benefit me, being sad
can’t.”
So you know now how used I am to this pancreatitis. I am suffering from common cold and fever and it seems like I am going through something really big, huge in fact. I have been so habituated to diseases like pancreatitis, gastritis, mucositis that I had completely forgotten that fever/common cold is something that people suffer from every now and then. Here I am sneezing continuously since last couple of days and honestly, I am tired. I may be used to the greenish puke during severe pancreatitis but seeing the yellowy cough makes me sicker. While I can smile and talk continuously with ache in my stomach, I can’t do so because my nose is turning red.
So you know now how used I am to this pancreatitis. I am suffering from common cold and fever and it seems like I am going through something really big, huge in fact. I have been so habituated to diseases like pancreatitis, gastritis, mucositis that I had completely forgotten that fever/common cold is something that people suffer from every now and then. Here I am sneezing continuously since last couple of days and honestly, I am tired. I may be used to the greenish puke during severe pancreatitis but seeing the yellowy cough makes me sicker. While I can smile and talk continuously with ache in my stomach, I can’t do so because my nose is turning red.
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| This is exactly how I look while I am writing all this. Source-Google |
Sometimes my own behavior gives
me a shock. How much weirder can I get? It’s like I can't react to some situations like
normal people do. Someday people around me are literally going to kill me with
their ‘What-the-hell’ look and as far as I can see that time isn't far away. And
all the people who are giving such looks while reading this; I just want say
that- ‘Right now I am too young to die. Please save your looks for the next 6-7
decades.’ [:-P]
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