We Are Here To Stay

There are a few of us who like to listen to stories without judgment, for the most part. There’s something so easy about the good guy-bad guy tag in a romantic relationship that we dislike it. There’s always a supposed clock ticking to move on which basically means shoving everything that hurts in a corner and reliving the same story with another till the time to shove hurt comes again. But us, the few of us, we are cheerleaders during heartbreaks. We like to dance with pompoms when the ones who thought they’ll die without the love of their life learn to live, as they learn romance and love were a part of their life, not the whole of it. We don’t judge them for trash talking or being clingy or whiny, we love them for wanting to live on when their faith crumbles to be rebuilt.

We hear such stories all the time. The stories of heartbreaks far exceed the ones of coming together. We hear red flags and toxicity more than morning cuddles and breakfast in bed. We don’t remind them that their relationship wasn’t just fighting about that one call with another after they bid goodnight or why dishes need to be done immediately after eating or why they needed to save more for their expenses. They tell us everything that hurts. We hear them hate themselves for choosing that person. When the sobs quiet down, they speak of that one time when they were at a bar and danced so hard that they couldn’t climb the stairs to their home. They tell us about that blurred photograph that captured them at their happiest. They begin to talk about the future they had dreamt of and we hear their voice break, their light laughter overshadowed by tears for the future that will never be, again.

We let them be, the few of us. We let them tell their tale, we give them a listener, a shoulder to cry on, an affectionate hug that helps them feel grounded as they begin to think they might disintegrate, a heart emoji on their chat screen to tell them they are loved even if this isn’t the love they asked for. We give them the assurance that time isn’t running out and that moving on will come to them when they are ready to let go. So, we stay till they are willing to stand up from the corner they have crawled into. They take our hand, and a few steps later, they move forward leaving us where we were. They look back in a moment of hesitation, and we reassure them by a nod that says they are doing the right thing. They move on knowing we will be here when they feel the need to revisit the sad corner because loneliness gets too much to take care of itself.

We have been in service for almost ten years, since our first heartbreaks. We discovered then what a lack of support can do to people, how difficult things can be without someone to hear us relive our story from the worst of worst to the best of best to what could have been. Reliving out loud with someone as a witness (a listener or a paper) is important to accept that it has ended. Everything in our head needs that physical representation to assure us that it's over. Most of the times, it’s no one’s fault. Timing isn’t wrong; the relationship simply has had its course. It doesn’t turn love into hate or story into nothing. It just makes people what they are meant to be.

We don’t judge anyone because these stories don't speak of domestic or sexual or emotional violence. They don’t involve gaslighting or codependence. It’s almost always about two people who were not good enough for each other despite being exactly what they needed when they met. Sometimes, people are perfect together and things still fall apart. So, being in this service takes away any and every guideline that we once might have had for a relationship to work. Now, we just believe that anything can happen in any moment. Forever can be a short while or a lifetime, who are we to set the measure?

This is how the few of us keep going, living through stories till we stumble upon our own. We let love be. We put our faith in its existence changing the world, breaking the barriers, speaking for itself. We live many stories and we keep our faith.

The few of us, we are here to tell these stories while love comes and withers away. Without judgment, for the most part.