When Universe tricks you to turn Vegetarian, Blog About it!

I woke up this fine Sunday morning — sleepy still, I went to get Rohi fish. As the seller aunty weighed it, and uncle cut it, I had quite an unsatisfactory feeling. It's not being cut right, I thought. I saw aunty weighing two snakehead murrels and dropping them near uncle. One of the murrels moved, and I hoped for it to not be alive. I ignored and went back to watching my Rohi being cut. Then, aunty picked up a murrel, and tried to kill it. It slipped. I did not like the sight of it because the fish moved like a snake.

I was reminded of the time when I was a class V kid. I had often suggested my father to buy all the freshly-fished fishes and throw them back in the water, so that they can live. We can eat the already-dead ones, but not the ones who are suffering for the lack of water. I went vegetarian for next six years, because my Science teacher had asked my class to make a mass-promise to not eat non-veg. I take the words, "I promise", quite seriously. That's an unbreakable vow for me. To trigger the promise, I also happened to see the butchering of a goat that my father tried to hide from me.

Anyhow, returning to this Sunday morning, once my fish was cut, aunty asked me for money. I thought she was asking more. I confronted her, obviously. She said, “I will return the change.” It felt weird, this had never happened before. Although I got my change back, I felt I had been tricked even if it was a matter of ₹10. That’s not a good feeling, you know.

Usually when I get fish, I am so excited that I eat fish fry as brunch. Today I was in no mood. So, I decided to experiment with eggs, bread, cheese, and mashed potatoes. Thanks to my mother watching morning show of Padmaavat, I could neither call her to tell her about my unsatisfactory experience of buying fish nor could I ask her the ways to make firm mashed potato patties. No, internet doesn't help like mom's secret ways do! I ended up with broken patties, and gave up. I decided to add cheese and potato to my bread and dip it in egg to make French-toast-sandwich. The fancy one-minute videos on the internet will never be tried out in my kitchen again.

I was exhausted. I just needed eggs now.  As I cracked open the second egg, with yolk and albumen there was a lump of red. That killed me, I had never seen something like this. Mom always said, the eggs that we eat are unfertilized.  No chick can be born out of it. Yay to eating eggs! But crap, I saw blood or assumed it to be so. I began chanting, "Don't let this turn you into a vegetarian again. You do not want to be the go-to-KFC-eat-Veg-Zinger person or go-to-Delhi-eat-veg-momos person again in your life. You know what you have missed out. Don't let it happen again.”

I threw away those eggs, and began afresh with a lot of courage. The lack of blood in the fresh ones made it easier for me to prepare my French-toast-sandwich. But, (I think) universe still wanted to send me a message. As I poured the leftover egg on pan for making an omelet, the egg decided to shape itself as a fish. Believe me when I say, I was freaked out. What was it supposed to mean? The voice in my head kept chanting, "Don't turn into a vegetarian."

I clicked a picture of it, to update on my social media platforms of course. I then got my food to eat but kept it aside. I wrote a first draft of the day, and then ate. I decided to edit it later with a less freaked out mind and add it to my blog. Also, I hoped it would be appropriate to caption the entry as, "Not for the faint-hearted or orthodox vegetarians with the policy of live and curse non-vegetarians - you guys kindly keep scrolling. Others, do click on the link below to read the complete story of a Sunday that I hope doesn’t get worse."

 

Spot my omelet-fish eye! :D :P

1. Do not, I repeat, do not take your kids to butcher shops if you want them to continue to eat meat of any kind.
2. I hope you find the post funny. I do. I am tired, and I cannot stop laughing at my day so far.
3. If you ignored my caption and want to lecture me on why humans shouldn’t eat animals, save yourself the pain. Unlike many, I have experienced both lifestyles and I choose to eat the meat of my choice.
4. Nothing good can come out of Padmaavat.
5. Thank you for reading.
6. How's your Sunday? Tell me about it in the comments, if you may. 
7. Blood in egg white is perfectly fit for consumption, a later Google search revealed.