In my first year, I was shocked by the attitude of the people in the
‘city of my dreams’. In my second year, I was shattered as my beautiful
childhood seemed no more than a big lie. In my third year, I was devastated
failing to accept the meaninglessness of life and the sorry state of the
country I live in.
If I am asked someday about my
graduation, then I would speak the aforementioned lines to define it. These
lines do not provide the beauty that Literature is assigned with; the beauty
that can be seen and appreciated even by the non-literati. But here I am whining
about the life literature gave me. More than often I have said to my friends
that literature has the ability to ruin one’s life no matter how much s/he
romanticizes it; the life in which one is happy obsessing about the self in the
tiny bubble that s/he thinks to be the entire world. But am I really upset
about it?
After the result of my board
examination was out, I went to my Dad and said that I wanted to pursue English
Literature instead of MBBS. All my dad did was ask me to fill the forms for
the same in Delhi University despite the fact that my other family members
wanted me to drop a year and pursue MBBS. Moving to Delhi, getting into DU for
that matter, was like a dream come true. The people I met in Delhi judged me by
the skin colour, befriended according to the class and were more interested in
my caste than in my ideologies. So was it as beautiful as my dream?
Delhi was a new chapter in my
book of life, and literature was the protagonist with theatre as its mate. If
there was one place where I wasn’t judged by my name and colour then it was the
theatre society of my college, where my voice was heard and ideology
considered. So yes, my life changed. It upset me, it devastated me but more
than that it helped me grow, mature and move on from the unnecessary little
things that I fussed over.
Literature isn’t merely reading a
novel and summarizing it, as the general idea of people outside the world of
literature might be. It isn’t merely
reading between the lines, analyzing the author’s intent to pass in the exam.
It is in fact about the society, the culture, the tradition we live in and the
people we live with. Literature, along with theatre, made me question the
society I live in, the person I am. Am I, after all, the person I would have
been had society not interfered in my growth? Literature taught me that it is okay if I do
not fit into the society, it is okay if I question the religions, traditions,
the stereotypes I was born into and the ones who make it, it is okay if I stand
for my own self without bending in front of patriarchy, it is okay to question
the notion of patriotism and nationalism, it is okay to question everything we
were taught in school as the universal truth when it was not, it is okay to
question the institution of marriage, it is okay in fact to question the
meaning/meaninglessness of life, it is okay to demand the right to make my own
identity and not follow the one that has been made for me by my family or
society for that matter and so much more. It taught me that it is after all okay to think in the country I live in.
People say literature made me a
rebel. I say it simply fueled the rebel inside me. People say literature is
inferior to Science. I say they go hand in hand. People say teaching is the
only job I can do in this field. I say we need more teachers who teach beyond the syllabus and introduce us to the reality of the state affairs. People say I
have wasted my life. I say nothing better could have happened in my life. People say
why this when it makes me sadder every day. I say I have my moments of fun and
pleasure but am I supposed to be happy when the intellectuals of the country
deprive me of a place in its culture.
So yes, studying literature specifically
in Delhi has changed my life. It made me a person I never knew I could become. My
life changed, it changed for the good.
This post has been written for housing.com and their #StartANewLife campaign. Check out there concept video here :
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