The sin of being Real

Amusing it is how we do not accept reality because our mind has woven lies and fantasies since the time we started understanding language. The good night tales, the fairy tales are the ones we are made to listen. The clichéd concept of good over evil forms the base of everything in our mind. We look for good endings, just like the ones where the fox is dead in the ‘Little Red Riding Hood’, where Cinderella finds her prince charming, where sleeping beauty wakes up and the witches always meet the bad end. Somehow these stories spoiled us. I am not saying good over evil isn’t true but aren’t the concepts of good and evil as delusional as that of day and night?

As a kid more than often I wondered about getting married to the love of my life and have my happily ever after. What I did not know then was that there is no happily ever after. And love of my life? This is probably the biggest lie little girls grow up with. No, I am not heartbroken. But I still do not believe in it. Life is too long where innumerable changes take place, sticking to one person is impractical. The way Elizabeth Gilbert defines soul mate is more acceptable than any other.

The concept of having a 4AM chat friend, a friend when your heart breaks, a friend who will reach you in no time when you need him/her, a friend who completes your statement, a friend who knows you A to Z, head to toe, a friend who would give up his/her favorite thing for you, and a lot more, is highly tempting yet illogical. You cannot have all those qualities that the facebook pages tell you a friend must have. Lacking one of those doesn’t make your best friend any less good for you. Isn’t it amusing how at times people rely on these pages for defining their friends, love and other relationships, all the while possessing an organ that can help them have their own independent thoughts.

You know who your friends are, who your love is. You do not need a third voice to define your relationships. Just because your girl/guy sleeps when you can’t sleep doesn’t make her/him love you any less. And just because a friend of yours is available in the times when she/he isn’t doesn’t mean you’re with a wrong person. People we deal with are real and haven’t stepped out from fairy tales, Ekta Kapoor’s serials or KJo’s movies. So it’s obviously a stupid thing to do when we expect people to fit our definition of perfection which isn’t completely ours in the first place, it has been tampered.

People have flaws. People are real. Things rarely are the same in a long term relationship as in the initial days of it. Yes you shared those little yet oh so magical words of love umpteen times a day just to let the other person know how much you love him/her, as you get into a long term relationship things change, things are a bit less magical and doesn’t necessarily mean that the love has faded. But the so called magic doesn’t die till the moment you think it’s dead because that’s when you give up. If it seems like a drag after sometimes, it’s normal. Your life isn’t a 3 hour movie, to keep things fresh and moving. Sometimes it is okay to let it be, growing slowly and nurturing itself.

Our minds are so filled with fantasies of what and how things should be that we ruin things the way they are. We say we accept the person as he/she is. But the truth is we accept the person as we believe him/her to be. One step out of our assumption, things start to fall apart. Suddenly in our head people change. Tears, heartbreak, anger, frustration and what not. The mixture of emotions is so strong that no sound reaches the ears. The silence drains the brain out of blood which makes the brain incapable of functioning, metaphorically.

Strange it is how a person with no fake loud promises of happily ever after but an unvoiced commitment of normal present with ups and downs can be misunderstood. Strange it is how a person with a pinch of honesty but a jar of romantic one liners can flatter the heart. Strange it is how easily we accept the flattering lies that occupy our mind and the innocent reality becomes harsh and unfair without any sin. Surely, strange it is.