That thing about Promises!

 “Promise is promise. Everything cannot be defined.”

“Saying something to make the other person believe.”

“Something in which you happily commit to do something no matter what happens.”

“Words to provide a sense of trust.”

"Something that's meant to be fulfilled."

“Promise is something that is made to show love to someone.”

And so replied a few of my close friends when I asked, what is a promise according to you?

What is a promise according to me? It is a piece of crap that people feed each other when things start to screw up. NO. Not really. This is how I see the word being used around me. What is a promise according to me? Instead of using my own words, I would quote the best answer that I received in my little survey, “Something you should not go back on. And something you should be very miser about. Not to be made to anyone and everyone.”  [I am quoting this woman for the second time on my blog, I am sure she is happy about it.]

This is what I was looking for. I wanted one other person to share my outlook if not all. And honestly, this answer made me smile for a long time. There was a time when I used to say, promises, like rules, are meant to be broken. Every time my parents asked me to promise them something, I bluntly denied. No matter how much it hurts, but I am not feeding you with any false hope of something that I am never going to do. I am allergic to promises. I repel them. When I am asked to promise something, the next thing I want to do is break it.

My friend said, what is so wrong about making a promise?

I gave her the look saying what is right about it! Today I make a promise and tomorrow things change, situations change, the person I made the promise to changes and so do I, but I still cannot undo the promise I once made. It is not about what people think, it is about what I think. Promises are fragile and are meant to be handled with a lot of care. My carelessness and fickle mindedness can’t take the risk of making a promise and not breaking it.

It’s all in your head, she said. Maybe. As long as it saves me from further guilt trips, I do not really care.

Promises are fine as long as people involved realize that they shouldn’t bind each other any day because of something they said earlier. One shouldn’t back on. True. But what if the need be so? Another friend who shares my MANTAL sickness completely said, promises are something that you say and stick to. But you can always change and modify them. Though this made me think for a while, but then I got it. i haven’t met a single soul who would tell me he is certain about the future. We like to believe that what we want is what will happen. But in most of the cases it doesn’t. So why not just modify the words with mutual consent?

In my 20 long revolutions around sun, I have seen broken relationships more than the ones well kept. Call me a pessimist if you want to, but all kinds of a relationship comes with baggage. And promises when made in distress only make the baggage heavier. If a person wants to be with you, wants to believe you, he/she will find a way anyway. A futile promise so that things might not fall apart is not necessary.

Having recently promised something to a friend, my mind debated if I did the right thing. Initially it seemed to me that the one promise which I made to a very close friend, after all these years of running away from commitments, was an instant reaction when things seemed to fall apart. A few thoughts later it seemed that that day the promise which I had already made in my head got a voice. The thing about promises is that they need not be loud words every time, silent whispers do just fine and also provide with a better sense of intimacy.

And yes I am a miser when it comes to promises. A single promise in five goddamn years seems fine to me. This doesn’t mean I am now fond of promises, but yes once made, I am sure for the first time in ages that I am not going back. For a change, I am going to keep it safe and sound as long as I can. Forever is still not in the scenario, it is always ‘as long as I can.’

And just because all this while I spoke of making a promise doesn’t mean I like to accept promises. If you’re really close friend of mine, then you surely have witnessed my denial in accepting promises. And it seemed really weird of me to not have rambled on my blog for a long time, so I just had to write this one. I just had to let this out of my mind.

Image Source- Google

PS- This piece of writing is my take on the subject and no offences are intended. :)