“Pyaar? Pyaar dosti hai. Agar wo meri sabse achi dost nahi hai to mai usse kabhi pyaar kar hi nahi sakta kyun ki dosti bina to pyaar hota hi nahi. Simple, pyaar dosti hai.”
Born in the last decade of the twentieth century, I have actually
grown up believing and learning this celebrated quote by heart from the coming
of age romantic comedy Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. This movie is one of those few
bollywood hits which I love beyond all the logics. There are flaws. I find a
new one every time I sit down with my Dad to watch this movie. Apparently
neither of us minds leaving work undone to watch this particular
film. We make fun; we sing the songs together; we question each other on the
contradiction the two halves of the movie make. We love the movie in the end
anyway.
| A snapshot from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Image source- Google |
So why after 16 years am I showing my love for this movie?
Because it taught me the basic necessity of being in a
relationship which I see most of the relationship these days lack.
The boy and the girl see each other- talk for a while-
propose to be in a relationship- (if accepted) - go on a few dates-start having problems-
continue having problems- never end having problems- break up- still have
problems.
Yes the dates happen after the proposal and I still haven’t learnt
the logic behind this. Someday I will. But the most crucial thing which goes
unnoticed in the above process is friendship. There is no time given for the
roots of the relationship to strengthen.
Best friends from the same gender are completely acceptable
because we haven’t quite given in to homosexuality. Best friends from different genders create a million problems because the concept is not acceptable. If a boy has a
girlfriend and a girl best friend at the same time, the girlfriend surely has
the constant fear of losing her mate to his best friend. The same goes for any
girl in the same situation as the boy. And the situation isn't pretty. Having to choose between your best friend and your mate is one of those choices which everyone dreads, or so I believe. You need to keep both the sides aware of their importance in your life. Secrecy is acceptable only if you're smart enough to not let any suspicion to arise. But what if your mate becomes your best friend?
Between best friends, you don’t have to know everything immediately. You
end up knowing everything in the end anyway. There is an understanding of
letting things go, not staying on particular subjects for long. There is no
space for insecurities, once arose are taken care of immediately. You speak
your mind out knowing they won’t judge you or leave you. If they had to, they
would have much before when the seeds of friendship were being sown. There isn’t
a requirement of talking endlessly every day. You know that even if you do not
send a Hi every day, they would be there for you when you need them no matter
which place on earth they reside in, no matter how far it is. [Listen to the
title track of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, it says all about friendship]
No words and promises are needed. There is a mutual silent commitment
of sticking together; holding each other’s back being partners till the end if
there is one. No matter how many girlfriends/boyfriends they have, you do not
need to worry because in the end they are coming back to you. You know all their flaws yet accept them the way they are instead of trying to change them. You're not blind, you're just comfortable with their imperfections. They will do
anything and everything they can for you knowing that you will do the same for
them without a second thought. Somehow or the other a bond so strong is formed
that there is hardly any fear of loss and insecurities. By the end of it, you’re
in love with your best friend but do not have to use I love you to express it to them, a few swear words do the job for you!
Sometimes friends become mates, sometimes they remain just
friends and at times the bond dwells without a name. It is nothing but just a
matter of choice that most of the times your sub conscious makes for you before
you consciously acknowledge it.
You may not fall in love with your best friend. It isn’t mandatory. But it is important that the person you love is your best friend.
Sometimes it is wise to take a step back, and nurture the roots of a relationship
to strengthen before it starts growing. So that when it finally dies, it is a
natural death instead of the cut of an axe.
 |
| Source- The facebook page of Akash Gautam, one of my mentors. |
PS- After years of blind belief, I finally understood the
meaning of Rahul’s words in the movie. Sometimes I can't help but fall in love with the crazy person I am.
Comments
Post a Comment