As Long As You Love Me...

What annoys me the most about relationships? Or should I quote it as ‘What scares me the most about relationships? “CHANGE” One word!

It seriously gets the hell out of me, when I think of the changes that relationships bring in you; when you commit to be with someone for the rest of your life, or so you think when you plan to commit. Changing into someone you’re not is unimaginable to a person like me. The idea of compromising because sacrificing doesn’t seem the right word to use when you’re in the beginning of something. Sacrifices you use when you break up – “I sacrificed this and that but you never bothered to notice them..blah..blah.. blah.” But when you’re in love it is usually the BSB playing in your head – “I will go anywhere for you…. I will do anything for you.. as long as you love me”

Getting a partner who understands and accepts you the way you are is really tough. But what’s tougher is, “If you get this someone, would you understand and accept him in the same way?” We usually want things from people without giving anything. People say it’s a mutual understanding but mostly one always dominates over the other, whatsoever the gender may be.

But the thing is, we are so immersed in the 'so-called' love that we do not even realize when we begin to change, when we start making exceptions for one particular person, when just the presence of that one person changes our dreams and priorities, when every single detail about our life revolves around that special someone. We inform them of every minute detail not because they ask us to but because we want them to be a part of it. We just go with the flow or should I say follow our heart. And all of it actually makes sense.

I speak as if I am dying but yes for years, I have wondered how do people change and do not even have the realization of changing. How can they not realize that their dreams and aspirations have changed? How can they not know that they were getting along fine with their life and suddenly like a gush of wind someone enters and stays there sometime before finally leaving, eventually changing hell lot of a things for them.

And after all the wondering, I realized that I had the answer all along. It may not necessarily be the unconscious involuntary change. I guess most of the times we are sure of what we are doing. We love someone so much that we are willing to change ourselves for them. They did love us the way we were, they never asked us to change. But we did. Not because we were afraid to lose them but because we wanted to, it was our free will.

The question that one should ask while making these compromises is that, is the person worth it? And honestly no matter how much it is a matter of heart you need to involve your brain eventually. With all the loving you do, think practically, logically and if then the answer is yes, then why not? Just change if you so much want to. And if the person equally shares your stupidity [it is my synonym for love] then he will pay you back, some way or the other.

They say if it’s not meant for ever then it’s not worth your time. Well I disagree. I am not a believer of one true love or ‘the one’ concept. I do not say that these are wrong. But beliefs vary from person to person. If you love someone today, then stop thinking about the future. Things change. Situations change. And so do people. The wise thing to do is accept the change and move on. Because clinging to something which doesn’t bring out the best in you isn’t a great idea. It kills you from within. You tried. You changed. But it still did not work out. Just let it go. No matter what promises you made. No matter how much he seemed like THE ONE. You think you cannot find anyone better but you will. Not everything is supposed to go right. And believe me, the path involving stupid silly big mistakes are the ones that you’re going to look back and laugh at on your death bed in spite of all the right things you’ve done.

For me it is more like once you have smelled freedom, you cannot survive in a cage. You eventually die struggling because there is no way out. It’s not like I do not understand the idea of love and the will to change eventually. I think it is one the most beautiful things that people in love do, but then sometimes people are too afraid to take chances. Second chances! They ignore all the vital signs of love; they probably would have been in relationship with more than a couple of guys/girls over the time period. But they haven’t. Because in the end it all comes down to will they be willing to change even a little because no relationship comes without the changes. Someday they realize that they are satisfied by themselves and their life, and then they eventually find someone who again makes life a challenge for them. They fall in love when they are okay with it because if they aren’t fine they wouldn’t accept the love in the first place.