Dear Papa, You and I are Similar! :D

A couple of days back my father had asked me, “When is Father’s day?” Not paying much attention, I replied may be the second Sunday of July. And now I read that Father’s day is on 16^th June 2013 in my Facebook updates. [Long live Facebook] But my immeadite thought was - Oh my freaking god is this why papa had asked me a couple of days ago and I had no idea! 

Probably a month ago when I dedicated a blog post to my mother on the Mother’s day, I had made up my mind to do so for my father on the father’s day. For my mom, I started writing because I was bored and did not want to study for exams. For my father, now I am writing because suddenly after reading the updates I have the urge to write.

Writing for my mom was far easier than writing for dad. Even though I see mom as the emotionally stronger person but I still believe that Papa has an ocean of emotions within him which he fails to convey. I do not know from where to start when it comes to him. Okay here’s my first attempt.

“The only topic that Papa and I do not fight over is books.” Yes, this is how I want to begin. This is the dialog which I keep repeating over the phone to mom when Papa and I are left alone. I have been the apple of my father’s eye since birth and obviously like every father he is partial towards his daughter. I always have a soft corner for him. Neither of us can see the other suffering. As a kid, I vaguely remember how my relationship with my father was but as a teenager it has been horrible. There hasn’t been a day when he and I are in the same room and haven't fought. I simply need to disagree with whatever he has to say. DO this, no I won’t. Don’t do this, yes I will. This is how my relationship with him has been.

Over the years, I have come to realize that more or less I am a carbon copy of my father with a bit of accidental variations from my mother. I do not know if it is because of the genes that we are similar or is it the zodiac that we share. As I grew up, I realized that the problems I face probably are the ones that he has been facing over the years. The major one being inability to express ourselves which obviously leads to unwanted misunderstandings. Sometimes I have the feeling that in some situations I understand him more than mom does but then I can’t be sure.

My father and I form records when it comes to being the confusing soul and making last minute decisions. We share an unconditional love for books, we read and we store but deny parting with them. Once we hit a conversation about books, it can last for ages! We obviously aren’t the type of people who would express themselves to someone else but would long to be understood by them. We have ego problems but we wouldn’t accept the fact. We would rather stay silent than explaining ourselves when we see that the other person is not in a mood to listen to us. And in some cases we may as well play the bad guy when we are not. We are selfish people, we accept the very fact but still there are certain people who become way too important to us in a way that the world wouldn’t understand. We would fight over cricket and reality shows, and ultimately end up not talking with each other and throwing away the cable. We would fight in the kitchen because things are not where we think they are supposed to be. We drive my mom crazy once we start with our madness. We hardly speak in the normal tone to each other but still there’s a mutual understanding that shouting at the other makes the bond between us stronger. What more should I say?

Girls are closer to their mom when it comes to sharing things like teenage attraction but I am that person who shared it with her father. I keep lecturing about certain things and he gives me the look Ladki bahut bolne lagi hai. He smiles at my ‘I am a grown up now’ attitude. I do not know if he has been my hero since the day I was born but I know my father is the Daya of CID when it comes to breaking the door. Yes, he did so once with the fear of something happening to me because I wasn’t answering the door bell.

Dearest Papa, I really have nothing much to write here. For of all people I know I can expect from you to understand my inability to express myself. I know you love me and you have said me so more than once. I want you to know, you are that person who switches on my childish madness, without you I am more of a silent serious person. When I see you after days, I want to let you know about all my achievements and experiences word by word. And no matter what everyone says, I am a firm believer of your partiality being on bhai’s side. Well honestly, to write more I need have a better vocabulary for unlike Mamma, you’re that person who would keep secrets from the world locked within your heart. All I feel like saying is that with all your drawbacks, I still believe I couldn’t have had a better father than you!

And yes, Happy Father's Day and Thank you for being a supportive father in all the ups and downs of my life and letting me free to live my life the way I want to live. 

PS- I had to go way back into the past to find a photograph of you and me, so let's make sure to have some photographs together before we part this time. :-)