Science to Arts? LOL :D

Eight months ago- "I am neither getting into a medical college nor am I going to drop a year for its preparation! I did not study in last 2years, so, what makes you think I will open the biology book again after all these months. I think I would be doing English Honors now."

Friend No. 1 -
"You're interested in reading and writing so English seems good for you but no matter what it is, thinking of changing the stream from Science to Arts is such a shameful thought. I mean if you do so, what was the profit of reading PCB? I can't think of it. Log kya kahenge?"

Friend No. 2-
"Oye majak hai kya? You read biology for 2years and now you are talking of English? What the hell are you thinking?"

Friend No. 3-
"What? English? HAHAHA. You're opting for medical, isn't it? English? HAHAHA "

Friend No. 4-
"What are you going to do after graduation then? Be a teacher? LOL"

Relatives-
"You're our only hope. When it comes to being a doctor, we expect it from you. Don't you like biology? You said you wanted to be a doctor, then how come now you're thinking of English? Anyway, nothing is in our hands. You never know what your destiny is."

You got me right; the above were a few reactions to my decision of studying English Honors instead of Medical Science. Your reaction to the situation may have been similar to ones mentioned above. Till today, I haven't come across anyone apart from my parents and brother who completely support my decision of changing the stream. That's what a family is for, isn't it? - If that's what you think you'd enjoy doing and you're sure about it, then we're with you.

Now a bit of past to get the present right…

Early in my school days I wrote about being a teacher, dancer etc but being a doctor never occurred to me. I had a number of ambitions then, like, astronaut, Choreographer, Actor, Music director, Journalist and many more... Most of them related to the reel world. Being a doctor was something I hated. Reason? I don't know. I had made up my mind to do anything apart from MBBS.

Just when I thought everything was fine, when I was among the toppers of my class, when I thought that no matter what happens I will remain good at studies forever; destiny greedily changed its mind. I found myself away from school and studies at a hospital with saline drips all over my body. Being continuously affected by the side effect of my leukemia's treatment I had announced to be an oncologist to research about medicines and invent a treatment without any side effects. I was away from books for almost a year and once back, I was told to study as much as I can. At first I had the zeal to prove myself. I was praised for doing well in such a hard time which eventually made me over confident leading to my downfall in XI and XII. I hated Physics, Chemistry and Biology more than ever. The only subject that interested me was English, initially because it did not need much reading, or so I thought.

I had always been a reader, genetic it is, I think. It started with reading comics and short stories and made its way to reading novels to which now I am completely addicted. Reading then helped me to start writing and then came the thought of studying English. Being bad at expressing myself while talking and most of the times ending up with misinterpretations/misunderstandings, I started to express myself via writing. And slowly it became my escape from the whole world. PCMB were forgotten by me when I was in the middle of my XII. I knew I no more wanted to be a doctor. Once my brother had pointed out that I had no interest in medical; I was simply interested in my leukemia. Even though I knew he was right, I failed to accept it then because somewhere somehow I was living under the notion that I would be a doctor.

Everyone in my family had expectations, hopes and beliefs and I didn't want to turn them down, I did not want to hurt them and also did not know what I wanted to do, so I remained silent.

I had always been a confused soul. Most of the times I thought of being an actor as that's what I dreamed of the most when I was a kid. My stage fright made me keep that dream aside. Once I started blogging, I shared my views of picking up English with my parents. They agreed and asked me to keep it as a back up as I hadn’t said NO to science. The board exams were a complete disaster. I guess I had appeared every medical entrance in India. I was so frustrated with myself that I never opened the book to study anymore, I knew I won't get into any medical college, I didn't want to, but still I didn't say NO. Finally when the results came up and I was selected in none I gathered up every ounce of courage in me and said the NO which I should have said long ago. 

Then the concentration shifted to English and my father also suggested psychology knowing that I had a great interest in counseling people around me. A few Google searches helped me to choose Psychology and English. And yet I was again confused! I tried for both and as luck would have it, I got into English. Delhi University was perfect for me as I always wanted to be in Delhi.

Today- I studied Science in high school with the hope of becoming a doctor and now I am doing English Honors at Ram Lal Anand College, DU. Half a year ago I was worried about my decision. I wasn’t sure if it was wise to choose English or not. Now in my second semester, I am proud to have chosen to change the stream because I have realized that it’s not about putting a few equations at the right place and scoring the best, it’s about you and simply you hidden within every character you study. Right now I am happy being a part of literature and can’t even imagine myself in any other course.

Life has always been a roller coaster ride with mistakes, confusions, lessons, realizations, grief along with elation, joy and happiness. Today there are a few people who are still upset about my choice and haven’t talked to me in last eight months. And when they do it’s always about what a great folly I did. Now such reactions hardly matter to me. After all it’s my life. I may not know what I actually want to be but I surely know what I don't want to be which will eventually lead me to where I stand. It will take a lot of time and I am not in a hurry.

Taking decisions for your own life gives you satisfaction even if they turn out wrong. There are no regrets because you did what you wanted to do. Being afraid of committing mistakes, spoiling your life will never actually let you live life. Experiment with yourself. Do what makes you happy and not what would make others happy. Enjoy!