The
Oxford English dictionary defines marriage as a formal union of man and woman,
typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife and I am
sure that everyone agrees to this. But is marriage completely explainable
in these couple of words? I do not think so. Simply saying, ‘Kabul hai’, ‘I do’ or taking the ‘saat pheres’ does not quiet interpret a
marriage. As far as I can understand, marriage is a promise which is meant to
remain unbroken for the life time of the people involved. It is vow to live
together forever, to be by each other’s side, to make your mate happy and
support in the sorrows, to try to understand each other and avoid
misunderstandings, to be each other’s friend before the course of love and most
importantly to trust each other and never let the foundation of the
relationship weaken.
A girl,
since her childhood, dreams to have a perfect husband who comes on a white
horse to marry her or so used to be the thought a few years back. Now the white
horse may be replaced by Ferrari. The first marriage in which an Indian girl
takes part is that of doll she owns. She is the one who arranges the marriage
yet wants the dolls to fall in love. Since then, a girl’s mind starts debating
upon love marriage or arranged marriage. Lucky are those whose love marriages
are arranged and arranged marriages are filled with love. No matter what kind
of a marriage it is, love and arrangement are needed in equal proportion. Don’t
you think so?
Among
the youth of today, love marriage has become a trend or a fashion and arranged
marriages are considered to be the ones their parents/grand parents did. I used
to think so and also that love marriages are more successful than the arranged
ones. But with the course of time my thoughts reversed when I saw a few love
marriages failing and arranged marriages lasting, of the same generation. And
again my thoughts did not remain the same as I came to understand that it’s not
the type of marriage that make it successful instead it’s the people involved
and their choices that decide the strength of the marriage.
Love is
world’s most beautiful feeling and the greatest power that people have. The
only problem, now days, is that people fall in love everyday and mind you, it’s
always true love. I have often heard people say, “Pyaar kab kahaan kaise kisse ho jaye kisi ko pata nahi chalta.” May
be it is true. Even if people fall in love everyday, there’s always a feeling
of “She/He is the right one” for a particular person. And then the thought of
marriage comes into their lives. At times it is immediate and at other times it
is a slow process. I believe that Love isn’t blind, it’s just the people
indulged in love unintentionally fake to be blind. Before the marriage, people
not only need to be in love but also know each other well enough to complete
their incompleteness.
In
arranged marriages, love starts with devotion. It does not happen overnight. If
in love marriages, love happens first then in arranged marriages, the process
of knowing each other takes place first. Things are automatically a lot
different here.
If we
go on to discover the complexities of both the kinds of marriages, I am sure I will
be able to write a complete research thesis on the subject and still not be
able to reach conclusions from my hypotheses. Leaving the debate open for all
to discuss is what sounds best to me. You tell me, which is better- love
marriage or arranged marriage?
This
entry has been written for the IndiBlogger Contest by Sony: www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange.
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