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Love vs Arranged- My take


The Oxford English dictionary defines marriage as a formal union of man and woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife and I am sure that everyone agrees to this. But is marriage completely explainable in these couple of words? I do not think so. Simply saying, ‘Kabul hai’, ‘I do’ or taking the ‘saat pheres’ does not quiet interpret a marriage. As far as I can understand, marriage is a promise which is meant to remain unbroken for the life time of the people involved. It is vow to live together forever, to be by each other’s side, to make your mate happy and support in the sorrows, to try to understand each other and avoid misunderstandings, to be each other’s friend before the course of love and most importantly to trust each other and never let the foundation of the relationship weaken.

A girl, since her childhood, dreams to have a perfect husband who comes on a white horse to marry her or so used to be the thought a few years back. Now the white horse may be replaced by Ferrari. The first marriage in which an Indian girl takes part is that of doll she owns. She is the one who arranges the marriage yet wants the dolls to fall in love. Since then, a girl’s mind starts debating upon love marriage or arranged marriage. Lucky are those whose love marriages are arranged and arranged marriages are filled with love. No matter what kind of a marriage it is, love and arrangement are needed in equal proportion. Don’t you think so?

Among the youth of today, love marriage has become a trend or a fashion and arranged marriages are considered to be the ones their parents/grand parents did. I used to think so and also that love marriages are more successful than the arranged ones. But with the course of time my thoughts reversed when I saw a few love marriages failing and arranged marriages lasting, of the same generation. And again my thoughts did not remain the same as I came to understand that it’s not the type of marriage that make it successful instead it’s the people involved and their choices that decide the strength of the marriage.

Love is world’s most beautiful feeling and the greatest power that people have. The only problem, now days, is that people fall in love everyday and mind you, it’s always true love. I have often heard people say, “Pyaar kab kahaan kaise kisse ho jaye kisi ko pata nahi chalta.” May be it is true. Even if people fall in love everyday, there’s always a feeling of “She/He is the right one” for a particular person. And then the thought of marriage comes into their lives. At times it is immediate and at other times it is a slow process. I believe that Love isn’t blind, it’s just the people indulged in love unintentionally fake to be blind. Before the marriage, people not only need to be in love but also know each other well enough to complete their incompleteness.

In arranged marriages, love starts with devotion. It does not happen overnight. If in love marriages, love happens first then in arranged marriages, the process of knowing each other takes place first. Things are automatically a lot different here.

If we go on to discover the complexities of both the kinds of marriages, I am sure I will be able to write a complete research thesis on the subject and still not be able to reach conclusions from my hypotheses. Leaving the debate open for all to discuss is what sounds best to me. You tell me, which is better- love marriage or arranged marriage?

This entry has been written for the IndiBlogger Contest by Sony: www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange. 

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