In last few days, more than once, I had the thought of writing a few posts in my blog but the words remained confined to the walls of my skull. At times they struggled hard but in the end they gave up.
I have appeared 2 interviews in last 3 days and the experience of both have been completely different. The first one seemed so sudden that even after stepping out of the faculty room I was unaware of what happened. I thought and thought till my eyes closed for the night and my only comment about the interview was 'No Comments.' I thought I was confident yet I stammered while answering. The room was the same as they show in movies, the one with a long table having the faculty members at one side and the interviewee at the other and then I realized that I wasn't ready for this. Just because it was my 1st interview and no one said that the first timers are supposed to be good, so I'm not much upset about it. And if i was even a little upset then that was overshadowed by my second interview for which I had to wait around 5 hours, which resulted in a temporary back ache by the end of the day. The candidates who were called for the interview seemed not-so-happy and I was told that it's going to be tougher than any of us imagined. If the 1st one was sudden then this interview was slower than it should be. My heart was thudding as I entered the room this time and to my surprise the atmosphere here was much more casual than the earlier ones. I answered confidently and there was no stammering this time even though I didn't know the answer of few questions. I came out of the room with a smile on my face even though it was the usual big ear-to-ear smile.
So now a few words which were earlier struggling are out but still there are many more who are digging holes in my skull, I better take them out before I have a leakage.
It's been just four days that I am away from home and I'm suffering from chronic homesickness. I'm bored all the time, there's nothing that interests me or gets my attention, even my favorite activity i.e thinking does not help, I'm someway fed up of reading books and want a break, neither TV nor internet helps in anyway. As soon as I start feeling homesick a tiny voice inside me says 'It's just the beginning'and you've got no idea how much I have come to hate this feeling. People say 'truth is bitter'but once my class teacher mentioned that 'truth is bitter only when we fail to accept it' and I think she's right. I will get used to it I think or, I hope. Talking to mom and dad on phone helps and even though I'm 18, I still love to irritate my 'Dear' brother even though I don't see much of him on the week days. (Thanks to his internship) Irritating him and getting irritated by him brings back the HOME feeling :D
One thing that has really made me happy in last few days is- a short conversation with one of my childhood friend with whom I hardly talk. To my surprise, this once-a-year conversation actually made me happy. We shared our current stats regarding studies and colleges, recalled the past memoreis of our schooling together and also let each other know about what we want in future. None of us had the complaints or demands of not talking more frequently or forgetting the other which may be because neither of us had ever be involved in the other's personal life but still what I feel is, one should have such a friend just to be happy when nothing seems right. And I'm glad to have not only one but a few more friends like this. Simply listening to the other makes us happy. :D :D :D
My mind had seemed heavier than it usually is, since morning which was probably because the words were battling but now most of them are out and my brain seems to have negligible weight. I have still got to think about my college and subjects which need a calm mind and writing this post made it easier for me.
Earlier I mentioned that only one good thing has happened to me but now it seems that this is the second good thing happening right now- writing. I just hope that next time i will find a way to bring the words out of my mind before they start struggling.
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| Source- Google |
Keep smiling... stars will align :D
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