The Unforgettable Desire

Someday we are going to wake up in an alternate reality where horrible life is NOT a competition. In that reality when someone expresses how terrible their life is, the response is an empathetic nod rather than ‘Oh, my life is more terrible.’ Someday we are going to realise that it’s absolutely okay to have a time in which life seems and feels good. It's absolutely okay to not accept the misery 'as what life is' or 'normal' and want better for ourselves. We might have a lot of time to kill till that day comes, so I am going to share an experience. Once upon a time I wanted to die, from the ages of eight to thirteen. To make you understand my commitment to the act of dying, let me mention that I used to believe then that if I ask god something from my heart, then he'll consider fulfilling it. I prayed to die on my bad days. I prayed to die on my good days including birthdays. Because, why will anyone listen to a prayer that’s forgotten when the situat...

I held out a coffee tumbler that I had bought a few weeks ago, after I decided to quit drinking coffee. My grandfather took it from my hand, read the text on it – Do what you love, love what you do. ‘This is what I used to tell my students. I didn’t use these exact words.’ I turned my head towards him, ‘This is what I often tell my friends and juniors too!’ He continued, ‘Accounts is a subject that I love. I used to tell my students that to understand the subject, to do well, they have to love it.’ I was excited. ‘I say the same for English!’ There were a few other people in the dining room then. Different conversations were taking place at once. No one was paying particular attention towards us. I had been making a presentation of coffee mugs and the equipment that I used to brew filter coffee. My voice itself is a people repellent. I talk so much for so long that people lose interest. They are also aware that I won’t stop until I am done showing everything in my agenda, so they re...