The Unforgettable Desire

Dear family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, Padosi, Dur Baithe Rishtedaar etc. If you want to be scared for my life, then please be. If you think there are more rapists than bad drivers on the road, then maybe you’re right. If you think living alone has a greater chance of me being harassed, then maybe you’re right. If you think my partying in a bar is signaling guys for sex, then maybe you’re right.

The need to be needed by others, isn’t that something? Deep down, each one of us wants to feel needed by someone, anyone, every one. But if not, what then? At an early age she had known that nothing apart from Cartoon Network was pleasurable. She would rather watch the few words that can apparate humans into a parallel universe of dragons than the few words that broke a family on StarPlus. As far as I can recall, she wasn’t really upset by the altered family picture. It was the ‘happy ending no matter what’ that bothered her. Somewhere between the Dragon Tales and Ekta Kapoor’s soaps, she found herself drawing a distorted picture of who she will become.

When we look back into the past, we divide our lives into phases. Be it a life of 25 years or 70, we phase it out. Certain things trigger the memories of these by gone days in a way that the nostalgia denies to move on till we have revisited the romanticised version of the then reality. It can be a morning bus ride to college. It can be a walk down the street. It can be a phone call. It can be a random thing that screws our mind up in an otherwise perfectly sorted present. It can be anything.